Olympic Podium Repossessed

Vancouver - Canadian Olympic authorities thought they owned the podium but due to a clerical error at 3:15 Monday morning it was repossessed. "Our check bounced faster one of them speed skaters," said a Canadian Olympic official who preferred to remain anonymous."It was a site to see when the repo man chained the podium to his tow truck and dragged it away. Made a real high pitched squeal, kinda like when you club a baby seal," he added.
  A Russian representative said they are looking at leasing the podium when they hold the next winter games. "After this Canadian fiasco we will be much better prepared. We could lease, or we have very many podiums in storage that are already paid for." said Victor Tickmeoff of the Russian olympic team.
  The games will go on. "For the moment we're just going to have the athletes stand on bridge chairs when they get their medals," said an Olympic official. "They aren't much to look at but their sturdy anyways."
  Prime Minister Harper was unavailable for comment but an aid said,"whenever we get back to work I'm sure the Prime Minister will have much more important things on his to do list then finding out the facts of a story that the government feels  was clearly blown out of all proportion by the Liberals and the other opposition parties. We would like to think of this as another Liberal plot to embarrass the Prime Minister at a time when Canada is on the world stage. Prime Minister Harper wanted me to state that when he finally does get back to work he vows to find out  just  how the truth got leaked and will do his best to discredit anyone that insists on spreading these or any other facts his government deems unimportant, inappropriate or just too darn scary for our virgin Canadian ears to hear."
  Meanwhile a Conservative backbencher on vacation in Rio was over heard saying to his Brazilian counter part, "the government believes it would be a waste of the governments time to pursue the facts on this or any other story when we already have a policy of  lying in place. As a rule it is much easier to plan for then the truth. So far it seems to be working for us."