Saturday, June 5, 2010

Israeli Cabinet in Test Session

Tel Aviv - In a rare show of unanimity yesterday, the Israeli cabinet decided to change the rules of conduct in all future Gaza blockade related actions. A smiling and visibly happy government spokesman Moishe Strickman described the meeting, " as an emergency. It was so much fun! After last Monday's botched and inept boarding of that activist love boat Mavi what was it?... Marmara? is that it? - ha! funny name...we have chosen a new approach. We must stop those idiotic Swedes and stupid Nobel Prize winners somehow! No more crazy commandos! Ha, ha!"

At that point, AP reporter Meghan Doright broke in, "What is so funny?"
"Funny? What are you talking about? I'm being totally serious!" Strickman retorted, adding, "let me finish, ha, ha, ha...Our Defence Minister, what's his name, came up with this one. During the '67 War, our finest hour of course, we had the means to pacify the entire country of Syria from the newly captured Golan Heights. We never got there, the war ended too soon. Besides, what's his name has said, it scared the hell out of our military at the time. It was developed by the same people who built the nuclear weapons we don't have! Ha..ha..."

"And to placate world opinion, insipid no nothing world opinion, oh how we hate the rest of the world - we had to make sure no do-gooder pseudo peace activist slash terrorist Palestinian lover would be hurt by these new missiles."

"Missiles?" asked Der Speigal's Anika Herzog.


"You said missiles."

"What? Oh yes.. they're only the delivery vehicles, ha, ha..."

"Delivery of what?" asked The Guardian's Rachel Goodhouse, as she reached for her cell phone.

"Of what, of what? you ask? What the hell do I know? Whatever it was we just took! I've never felt so good in my life! Happy, carefree..! I'm just in total love with myself! I don't need my analyst anymore! The entire cabinet tested this and we can now declare that this stuff is so good it's obviously safe. Everybody's rolling in the aisles back there, ha..ha.. It's incredible! People have their clothes off! The next boat that comes over is gonna get nailed! They'll love us for it! We don't even know how long this shit, oh sorry, lasts! Maybe forever ha, ha...! So excuse me, I've got to get back in there, don't wanna miss anything. I think Bibi's up to something. He can be so much fun, you know."

"What's the Defence Minister's name again? Ha, ha.."

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