Sunday, April 18, 2010

Pope Benedict on Test Flight

Rome - In a hastily arranged press conference held this evening, Dutch airline MLK has apologized to Pope Benedict and the Vatican for apparently placing the Pope and his entire entourage on an Airbus 320 that was initially sent up to explore at what altitude an airliner could reach in order to avoid the volcanic ash clouds now engulfing Europe. MLK spokesperson Ariel Verngatten said that the Pope was "never in danger, I don't think," and that the aircraft left Malta safely and landed in Rome, albeit with the loss of one engine due to ingestion of high concentrations of ash.
"This was a mistake, pure and simple," said MLK CEO Maekel Meuller. "We apologize profusely to the Catholic Church for this affair. As well, we are investigating the reason why the Pope was given clearance to board an empty aircraft. "
When Church spokesman Monsignour Battaglia was asked if they themselves thought it odd that the aircraft was completely empty, he replied that "we thought they were being nice to us, since so few people are these days. Though we did find it strange that there was only one pilot, and he was wearing a parachute and an oxygen mask."
The internal investigation is now centering on an air traffic controller in Malta named Jonathan Smallass. Preliminary study has indicated that Mr. Smallass, native to Gibralter, is the brother of Antony Smallass, who in 1979 filed suit against two priests for allegedly "having their way" with him.
More on this breaking story as we receive it.

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